The dawn of time
- May 27th - The bone white weasel god was born from the ice that rimed the eyes of the dead giant Ymir. The weasel god woke and found itself in the company of the hare god, which was born of Ymir’s eyebrows, and the jellyfish god, born of the frozen liquid in the giant’s eye. It killed and ate the hare god, who was born again immediately, but avoided the jellyfish god, because it did not look good to eat.
One hundred fifty million years ago
- Date unknown - The Archaeopteryx kingdom flourished.
Forty-eight million years ago
- February 14th, 47,997,986 BCE - The ancient mammal known as the “walking whale” swam in the salty seas and thought “I think I’m done with all that land drama. Life is too short.” The results of this moment of soul-searching would be far-reaching indeed.
Eleven million year ago
- November 13th, 10,997,987 BCE - A medium-sized gray rock in the Hidden Almanac Test Garden was formed.
Thirty-five thousand years ago
- April 30th, 32,986 BCE - An unknown painter drew the Bull of St. Ygnacio, a cave painting located five miles to the east and nearly a quarter mile straight down from the monastery of Saint Ygnacio. The bull is life-size, nearly six feet long, rendered in charcoal and yellow clay. The painter left her handprint behind on the wall, perhaps as a signature.
- August 29th - The city walls fell and the raiders from the south invaded the city. There was only one city at the time, and it had no name. The raiders did not know what to do once they were inside. They went from door to door, looking at the inhabitants, and then finally left again, puzzled why anyone would choose to live so close together.
Eleven thousand years ago
- November 6th, 8987 BCE - According to the Reverend Allen Penstemon this was the date the world was created. He based his claims on numerology derived from the “Book of Tubalcaine,” an incomplete manuscript long believed to have been dictated by fallen angels.
Ten thousand years ago
- January 25th - The legends of the Thranefolk say the great cow Marda licked the lands of earth free of the ice that encased it.
- January 29th - According to the legends of the Thranefolk that the great cow Marda, having coughed up the land and the sea five days earlier, died of a terrible infection of the udders.
Seven thousand years ago
- November 4th, 4987 BCE - The world was saved by a hedgehog and the ghost of a bird. Further details are unknown.
Several thousand years ago
- February 19th - The crickets unionized and went on strike. Scabs were brought in, but there were complaints of substandard blinking, and so management was forced to yield to their demands.
- May 25th - A nameless faith met its end. As we do not know how it was pronounced, and the names were mostly blotted out by the victors, it is referred to by scholars as the Heretical Chitinate.
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