A famed furniture maker, von Awning created many gorgeous and fantastical pieces based on animals, which were highly sought after by the wealthy. This lasted until the Librarian Prince tripped and nearly impaled himself on a swordfish-inspired end table. He immediately had von Awning arrested on charges of “passive attempted regicide” and arranged a public trial to, he said, “discourage other pacifists.”

As usual, no one corrected the Prince’s grammar.

The trial lasted seven weeks, included innumerable witnesses, and was presided over by the prince himself in a judge’s wig. Von Awning himself appeared in a cage and appeared to sleep through the entire trial. It was later determined that the real Von Awning had been smuggled from the city before the trial began, and the person in the case was a sack with a crudely drawn face on it. The sack was duly executed at dawn. Von Awning himself lived to a ripe old age in the Mountain Kingdom.

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