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The Hidden Almanac for
Monday January 22nd, 2018
Episode 671
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Previous episode: 2018-01-19
Next episode: 2018-01-24

Summary

Today Drom invades my personal space with an update on the insurance. Be Safe, and Remember: You Are Not Alone.

Transcription

Mord: Welcome to the Hidden Almanac, I’m Reverend Mord. Today is January 22nd 2018.

Drom, outside: Mord! Mord, are you in there?

Mord: No.

Drom: Mord, you just said “no”! Obviously that means you’re in here.

(door opens and shuts)

Because if you weren’t in here, you wouldn’t say anything.

Mord: This is an answering machine.

Drom: It is not an answering machine. Nobody even uses answering machines any more! They use voicemail. That’s where everybody’s calls go to and you don’t ever listen to it, you just text and ask them what they want, speaking of which, you haven’t answered my texts.

Mord: I have been busy.

Drom: You spent three hours outside yesterday mooning over your hellebores.

Mord: As I said – busy.

Drom: Right. Look, you can stop hiding! I am not insuring you as an employee! You don’t have to take a physical. Clearly, that was more than you were willing to deal with.

Mord: Thank you, Drom.

Drom: And if anyone asks, technically you’re livestock.

Mord: What.

Drom: Yeah, I got you on the same plan as the Turkey.

Mord: The undead Turkey?

Drom: The undead need health insurance too! In fact, if anything, they need it worse! You hurt yourself when you’re alive, it’ll go away eventually. You break your ankle or something while you’re dead, you’re going to feel the weather in that joint 200 years later.

Mord: Why are we even insuring an undead turkey, who is wanted by the government?

Drom: Wanted by the government! You make it sound so menacing! It’s one District Court Judge and it’s a chicken.

Mord: Are we insuring the chicken as well?

Drom: Nah, the chicken’s got government insurance. And it gets a pension! Pretty damn swank for poultry if you ask me.

Mord: Drom…

Drom: Anyway. I just wanted to tell you to stop worrying about the insurance thing. You’re covered! You can come out of your shed, the paperwork is filed.

Mord: And you will not be sending a veterinarian around to assess my health?

Drom: Nope! They only require that if I’m trying to insure you as a working stud.

Mord: Ah …

Drom: Oh, the look on your mask right now.

Mord: The Hidden Almanac is brought to you by Red Wombat Resistance Company, purveyors of fine and revolutionary teas. Red Wombat --- “Fight the Power.”

Mord: Drom…

Drom: But you don’t get dental under this plan, so make sure your beetles floss regularly!

Mord sighs

Mord: That's the Hidden Almanac for January 22nd 2018. Be safe and remember, you are not alone.===Outro=== Out of character

The Hidden Almanac is a production of Red Wombat Studio, and is written by Ursula Vernon and produced by Kevin Sonney. The voice of Reverend Mord is Kevin Sonney. And the voice of Pastor Drom is Ursula Vernon. Our theme music is Moon Valley and our exit music is Red in Black, both by Kosta T. You can hear more from Kosta T at the Free Music Archive. All other content is copyright 2013 to 2018, Ursula Vernon. (That's me.)

Notes

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