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The Hidden Almanac for
Friday January 5th, 2018
Episode 664
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Previous episode: 2018-01-03
Next episode: 2018-01-08

Summary

Today Pastor Drom remembers why she has come to visit. Be Safe, and Remember: You Are Not Alone.

Transcription

Reverend Mord: Welcome to the Hidden Almanac, I’m Reverend Mord. Today is January 5th 2018.

Pastor Drom: Hi everybody, I’m Pastor Drom! Mord, I remembered why I came to bother you!

Mord: Oh, joy.

Drom: I bought you a present!

Mord: What.

Drom: A present! You know, a thing you give other people that isn’t a job or a disease.

Mord: That is one of the most idiosyncratic definitions of present that I have ever heard.

Drom: It’s still better than that stupid platitude about how today is a gift, and that’s why we call it the present – I hate that.

Mord: That is NOT why they call it the present. That is a linguistic artifact at best. While both derive from an ancient root meaning ‘to be at hand’, they have gone through two different routes to modern language. The one with connotations of a gift became a phrase meaning ‘to place an object into the presence of a person, and was then shortened, while the time frame –

Drom: Mord!

Mord: Yes?

Drom: Open your damn present.

(sound of paper unwrapping)

Mord: It is a packet of seeds

Drom: It’s ASPHODEL! That one plant you went all gaga over in the Thanatopic Embassy.

Mord: The plant that feeds the souls of the dead.

Drom: I thought your ghost butterflies might like it.

Mord: Drom. I am – I am touched. This is very thoughtful of you.

Drom: I’m glad you like it.

Mord: They will attract the dead to the garden when they bloom.

Drom: Ah, is that a problem?

Mord: No. I will inform Intern Steve to be aware of ghostly visitors. Thank you, Drom. This was very kind. But why did you get me a present at all?

Drom: Well, you know! New year, new you! Possibly I was trying to butter you up a little cause we’ve got these new insurance forms and I need you to take a physical.

Mord: What.

Drom: (with great determination) The Hidden Almanac is brought to you by Red Wombat Resistance Company, purveyors of fine and revolutionary teas. Red Wombat --- “Fight the Power.”

Mord: Drom. What do you mean by “physical”?

Drom: We’ll talk later

Mord: That's the Hidden Almanac for January 5th 2018. Be safe and remember, you are not alone.

Outro

Out of character

The Hidden Almanac is a production of Red Wombat Studio, and is written by Ursula Vernon and produced by Kevin Sonney. The voice of Reverend Mord is Kevin Sonney. And the voice of Pastor Drom is Ursula Vernon. Our theme music is Moon Valley and our exit music is Red in Black, both by Kosta T. You can hear more from Kosta T at the Free Music Archive. All other content is copyright 2013 to 2018, Ursula Vernon. (That's me.)

Notes

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