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The Hidden Almanac for
Friday March 3rd, 2017
Episode 538
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Previous episode: 2017-03-01
Next episode: 2017-03-06

Summary

Pastor Drom continues to be alarmed at what she has found in the garden, and has also discovered something extraordinary. Be Safe, and Remember: You Are Not Alone.

Transcription

Welcome to the Hidden Almanac, I’m Reverend Mord.

Today is March 3rd, 2017.

D: Hi, everybody! I’m Pastor Drom!

Are you quite finished trying to prove that there are nefarious things in the garden, Drom?

D: Um. Well, you’ve got a bunch of poisonous plants.

Yes.

D: Okay?

Many plants are poisonous, Drom.

D: And you’re not worried about that?

If you are the sort of individual who wanders about stuffing strange plants into your mouth, the Hidden Almanac Test Garden is probably not a safe place for you, no. In fact, I would suggest avoiding the outdoors altogether.

D:  I thought gardens were supposed to be, y’know, safe idyllic places with…err…like…happy mister vegetable or something.

Happy. Mister. Vegetable.

D: Or not! Not is okay!

Gardens are not safe. Humans are dangerous. Nature is dangerous. The place where they meet was never going to be without peril.

D: Oooookay then. Uh. Well, I’m just gonna put all these notes about the aconite and the autumn crocus over here, then…

D: Oh, hey, what’s this one butterfly, anyway? I couldn’t pull it up in the field guide.

…ah. Those.

D: Sorta like a swallowtail, but it’s that funny red-orange color.

It will not be in a field guide, no. Its caterpillars feed on a particular vine that is…no longer found.

D: If they’re no longer found, what are the caterpillars eating?

There are no caterpillars. There are, indeed, no butterflies.

D: You lost me, Mord.

I must commend Intern Steve’s photography skills. It is rare that one can take a selfie with the ghost of a species.

D: You’re telling me we got butterfly ghosts in the garden?

I must commend you as well, Drom. I had thought that you would be overwhelmed by minute details of the garden and go back to your usual pursuits. But, in your typical haphazard fashion, you have blundered into the extraordinary.

D: Woo!

The Hidden Almanac is brought to you by Red Wombat Resistance Company, purveyors of fine and revolutionary teas. Red Wombat --- “Fight the Power.”

D: So why, exactly, are there ghost butterflies in the garden?

It is a long story.

D: Hey, I got time.

Approximately five thousand years long.

D: Okay, yeah, I’m gonna need more tequila for that.

That’s the Hidden Almanac for March 3rd, 2017. Be safe and remember, you are not alone.

Outro

Out of character

The Hidden Almanac is a production of Dark Canvas Media, and is written by Ursula Vernon and produced by Kevin Sonney. The voice of Reverend Mord is Kevin Sonney. And the voice of Pastor Drom is Ursula Vernon. Our intro music is Moon Valley and our exit music is Red in Black, both by Kosta T. You can hear more from Kosta T at the Free Music Archive. All other content is copyright 2013 through 2017, Ursula Vernon. Woo!

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