The Hidden Almanac for
Monday January 23rd, 2017
Episode 521
Previous episode: 2017-01-20
Next episode: 2017-01-25

Summary Edit

Today we remember a potentially universe changing event. Or not. It is the Feast Day of the Woodpecker’s Song, and in the garden, there is temptation.

Be Safe, and Stay Out of Trouble.

Transcription Edit

Welcome to the Hidden Almanac, I’m Reverend Mord.

Today is January 23rd, 2017. 

It was on this day in 1404 that a single grain of sand changed color from pale beige to a reddish-gray. Nothing otherwise changed. It is said by some physicists that this inexplicable act may have caused an entire other universe to calve off from ours, running in parallel in all ways except for that single grain. It is said by other physicists that this is exceedingly stupid.

It is the Feast Day of the Woodpecker’s Song. Woodpeckers do not generally sing, preferring to display by drumming on hollow logs, and indeed, this day is not related to the actual birds. Instead, the Woodpecker’s Song was a movement in the eastern lowlands that resisted occupation by conquering forces in the 1200’s. They used bird calls to communicate with one another in the dense marshlands. When the invaders asked what birds made such noises, they were told that it was the song of the local woodpeckers. The movement was subject to the usual mythmaking that attends any freedom fighters, and its portrayals in popular media are largely untroubled by facts. Nevertheless, there is a festival in the lowlands every year for the Woodpecker’s Song, which culminates in the burning of a knight made of straw in effigy, and a great deal of drink being passed around.

In the garden, it has been cool and humid, with temperatures far enough above freezing to tempt even the most hardened gardener. Surely, one thinks, a few seeds could be planted. Perhaps this is the year that there will be no freeze in February. Obviously this is foolishness. There is always a freeze. Nevertheless, a few peas and radishes planted out at this time do the gardener’s heart good and there is always a remote possibility that these frost-tolerant plants will survive the experience. One can even, if one wishes, put up miniature green-houses and cold-frames, which does no harm and keeps the winter-maddened gardener off the streets. 

The Hidden Almanac is brought to you by Red Wombat Resistance Company, purveyors of fine and revolutionary teas. Red Wombat --- “Fight the Power.”

Also brought to you by the Cannibalfly Priesthood. To remind you of our unceasing vengeance, we have brought you a meal moth. We know it isn’t much, but it’s what’s available at this time of year. Also, you have a thing on your head.


That’s the Hidden Almanac for January 23rd, 2017. Be safe and stay out of trouble.

Community content is available under CC-BY-SA unless otherwise noted.