| The Hidden Almanac for Wednesday July 27th, 2016 |
|---|
| Episode 444 |
|
| Previous episode: 2016-07-25 |
| Next episode: 2016-07-29 |
Summary[]
Today we have a visit from Pr. Drom, who is claiming to be Archon Drom. Something is not right, and there is no Feast Day.
Be Safe, and Stay Out of Trouble.
Transcription[]
Welcome to the Hidden Almanac, I’m Reverend Mord.
Today is July 27th, 2016.
D: Hi, everybody! I’m Archon Drom!
You are not.
D: I’m not what?
An archon. You are not an archon. You’re a pastor.
D: No, pretty sure I’m an archon.
Drom, I believe that your mind has been tampered with.
D: Well, as long as they left a note.
…what.
D: For the insurance claim.
I…moving on. Where did you go to school?
D: …the Ravencoast School of Divinity. Where we met.
Indeed. And what is my degree in?
D: Hagiography.
And what is hagiography?
D: I have absolutely no idea!
(sigh) Sadly, I am not sure if your ignorance is a sign of mental tampering or not. It is the study of saints.
D: You can get a degree in that?
Apparently not any more. According to the school website, this track no longer exists. There are also no saints.
D: Well, they’re mythical, aren’t they? So you’re really like a cryptozoologist.
I am NOT a cryptozoologist.
D: Jeez, touchy.
Drom, this is important. How long have you known about the Fathers?
D: Uh…since…Sunday School? I mean, I guess I probably heard about it before then, but you don’t get the Blessing until you’re like seven and your brain stops growing. It took my cousin until he was nine! He kept failing the parallel parking test. No, wait, that was something else. Well, anyway.
This grows more unsettling by the hour.
D: You want to do shots? That always settles me when I’m having existential angst.
Drom, how are you going to die?
D: Uh…I…uh…I feel like I should know this one…
Yes, you should. Do you know what martyrdom is?
D: Yeah, it’s the look you get whenever I walk in the room.
….
D: Ha! You can’t say anything to that one, can you?
No. No, I cannot. What would you say if I told you that you would be martyred?
D: Well, that’d be unpleasant. But I guess lots of people get martyred in service to the Fathers, so it’s not that unexpected. You sure you don’t wanna do shots?
Drom, when did the Fathers…arrive?
D: Jeez, you’re the historian. I dunno, in the Dark Ages or something. That’s what ended them, wasn’t it? Third plague, everybody had the thing with the growths—
Buboes.
D: Yeah, those. And then the Fathers came and cured everybody and the day was saved. Praise the Fathers!
And where do the plague doctors fit in this…cosmology?
D: The who now?
The Hidden Almanac is brought to you by the Father’s Tea Company, purveyors of all the teas you drink. --- “All Praise the Fathers.”
Also brought to you by Phil’s Chicken’s campaign for District Court Justiciar! Phil’s Chicken—a steady claw in trying times.
That’s the Hidden Almanac for July 27th, 2016. Be safe, and stay out of trouble.
D: Aren’t you supposed to say praise the—
We are not doing that.
Outro[]
Out of character
The Hidden Almanac is a production of Dark Canvas Media, and is produced by Kevin Sonney. The voice of Reverend Mord is Kevin Sonney. And the voice of Pastor Drom is Ursula Vernon. Our intro music is Moon Valley and our exit music is Red in Black, both by Kosta T. You can find more by Kosta T at the Free Music Archives. All other content is copyright 2013 through 2016, Ursula Vernon.