| The Hidden Almanac for Wednesday July 20th, 2016 |
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| Episode 441 |
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| Previous episode: 2016-07-18 |
| Next episode: 2016-07-22 |
Summary[]
Today we remember an almost anonymous love letter, and the object of the author’s affections. It is the Feast Day of the Granite Elephant, and in the garden, there is lantana.
Be Safe, and Stay Out of Trouble.
Transcription[]
Welcome to the Hidden Almanac, I’m Reverend Mord.
Today is July 20th, 2016.
It was on this day in 1831 that a carver, working on the underside of a very large statue of a dragon, carved his declaration of love for the wife of his employer. He did so in a font less than a tenth of an inch high, etched along the sides of six different belly scales. In this miniscule font, he poured out his feelings, his loathing of his employer’s cruelty, and his intense belief that she was as much a victim of the situation as he. It was dated and, recklessly, signed.
This carving did not come to light until over a century later, when a museum worker was engaged in restoring the statue, which had suffered badly from termites. The name of the carver had been largely obliterated, and the name of his employer was reduced to a collection of vowels. Only the name of the object of the carver’s affections was intact, repeated as it was no less than six times. Her name was Martha.
Records from that era were spotty, and researchers were unable to determine whether or not the carver ever declared himself, the fate of Martha, or indeed, who exactly she was. Romantic imaginations ran wild, and various movies were made, casting the carver as everything from the last good man to a serial killer. Few of the movies were terribly good, and none of them were accurate.
It is the Feast Day of the Granite Elephant, which is not a saint, but had to be put somewhere, lest it trample the unwary. The Church therefore offered this date on the ecclesiastical calendar as storage for this dangerous and unwieldy day of the year.
In the garden, the lantana are blooming. The coneflowers have gone to their second blooming, and the bee balm is nearly done. The forest sage, which is beautiful but can be aggressive, is putting up hooded yellow flowers, and the bugs are devouring the tomatoes more rapidly than the interns can gather them. The heat is in the triple digits, but we hold out hope that it will be broken up by storms.
The Hidden Almanac is brought to you by Red Wombat Tea Company, purveyors of fine and inaccessible teas. Red Wombat --- “We Dig Tea.”
Also brought to you by reality, which apologizes for not having been around much lately, and will try to do better.
That’s the Hidden Almanac for July 20th, 2016. Be safe, and stay out of trouble.
Outro[]
Out of character
The Hidden Almanac is a production of Dark Canvas Media, and is produced by Kevin Sonney. The voice of Reverend Mord is Kevin Sonney. And the voice of Pastor Drom is Ursula Vernon. Our intro music is Moon Valley and our exit music is Red in Black, both by Kosta T. You can find more by Kosta T at the Free Music Archives. All other content is copyright 2013 through 2016, Ursula Vernon.