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The Hidden Almanac for
Monday June 6th, 2016
Episode 422
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Previous episode: 2016-06-03
Next episode: 2016-06-08

Summary Edit

Today we remember the opening of a door in the city. It is the Feast Day of St. Maud, and in the garden, there are frogs. Be Safe, and Stay Out of Trouble.

Transcription Edit

Welcome to the Hidden Almanac, I’m Reverend Mord.

Today is June 6th, 2016. 

It was on this day in 1952 that a door opened in the city. It was a narrow door, painted blue, leading onto a small street known as Kirklane Place. This is significant primarily because the door had never before opened, nor has it done so since. The builders installed it some forty years prior as their last task upon the building,  packed up their tools and left without testing the hinges. 

Kirklane Place is home to a series of townhomes, which had been remodeled somewhat haphazardly, and so the owners of the homes on either side of the door each believed that it belonged to the other side. Occasionally shadowy figures could be seen glancing out through the glass windows set beside the door, but nothing untoward or unpleasant happened. 

On this particular day, the door opened and a man in a bowler hat left, closed the door, locked it, and walked off down the street. He was whistling “Momma’s Gonna Buy You A Mockingbird.” He did not return. The door is still there. 

It seems likely that the world is full of such places, but since everyone leads such busy lives, many go unnoticed. 

It is the Feast Day of Saint Maud the Exorcist. This minor saint came from the far north and was renowned for her ability to cast out demons. She reportedly disdained the standard text for this, preferring instead to say “Now come on out of there. That’s no place for you, don’tcha know? And let’s not have any temper tantrums with the nasty goop coming out. These nice people don’t want you here.” This was apparently shockingly effective. The demons still refuse to talk about it. 

In the garden, heavy rains have led to lush growth. The tomatoes are green, the beans are coming in at great speed, and the frogs are tracing mystical circles in the pond. This is probably due to lingering traces of the standing stones. One hates to use geocides because of their damage to the amphibian population, but the stones themselves are not entirely harmless. As we have seen no signs of tiny cults forming, the frogs will likely make a full recovery. 

The Hidden Almanac is brought to you by Red Wombat Tea Company, purveyors of fine and inaccessible teas. Red Wombat --- “We Dig Tea.”

Also brought to you by the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Cucumbers. Just say no to pickling this summer!

That’s the Hidden Almanac for June 6th, 2016. Be safe, and stay out of trouble..

Outro Edit

OutroEdit

Out of character

The Hidden Almanac is a production of Dark Canvas Media, and is produced by Kevin Sonney. The voice of Reverend Mord is Kevin Sonney. And the voice of Pastor Drom is Ursula Vernon. Our intro music is Moon Valley and our exit music is Red in Black, both by Kosta T. You can find more by Kosta T at the Free Music Archives. All other content is copyright 2013 through 2016, Ursula Vernon.

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