The Hidden Almanac for
Monday January 4th, 2016
Episode 356
Previous episode: 2016-01-01
Next episode: 2016-01-06

Summary Edit

Today we recall the appearance of a large serpent in Echo Harbor. It is also the day a librarian who was once lost, is now found. It is the Feast Day of the Demon-star Algol, and in the garden, there are irises.

Be Safe, and Stay Out of Trouble.

Transcription Edit

Welcome to the Hidden Almanac, I'm Reverend Mord.

Today is January 4th, 2016.

It was on this day in the Year of Woven Metal that an enormous serpent emerged from the public library in downtown Echo Harbor. The serpent was some eighty feet long and nearly five feet in diameter. Its scales were iridescent green. It slithered through the downtown, occasionally sliding up light posts to look around. The edges of the beast’s scales were razor sharp, so while it did not appear hostile, it left a trail of gouges in cars and buildings, and crushed a number of trash cans, mailboxes, and outdoor café tables under its weight.

Being familiar with such manifestations, pedestrians mostly got out of the way of the serpent. The police department was called and drove ahead of the snake with the sirens on to clear people out of the way.  Several prominent citizens said that it didn’t look angry or hungry, just as if it were going somewhere. It eventually reached the waterfront, slithered into the water, and swam away.

The public library, upon investigation, had a volume of “The Hidden World of Reptiles” open on the reading table. A shaggy man in rags, with an enormous beard, was sitting beside it. The man, after shaving, was revealed to be Librarian Neil McAllen, who had been lost in a book years earlier. He was taken to the hospital and treated for dehydration and malnutrition. Unfortunately, the details of his time in the book were never revealed, as he flatly refused to ever be in a book again, or even a newspaper clipping that might someday end up in a book—or worse, microfiche—and so refused all interviews until his dying day. All that is known is that the snake was named “Earnest.” A few of Earnest’s scales were found in the street, but attempts to analyze them showed that they were made of extraordinarily constructed paper mache.

It is the Feast Day of the Demon-star Algol. Very few ancient cultures ever liked this star, and there was probably a good reason for that. The feast day is therefore only celebrated by the more unpleasant sort of cults and particularly open-minded astronomers.

In the garden, the forecast calls for cold temperatures at last, though we will believe it when it happens. And the irises that the interns removed from the frog pond and laid in heaps to decompose have instead rooted on a dry clay hillside, where they are growing vigorously. It is unlikely that they were survive the summer heat, but the interns were nevertheless lectured on why we do not turn our back on the iris family.

The Hidden Almanac is brought to you by Red Wombat Tea Company, purveyors of fine and inaccessible teas. Red Wombat --- “We Dig Tea.”

Also brought to you by the silence of a rowan tree when the leaves have fallen.

That’s the Hidden Almanac for January 4th, 2016. Be safe, and stay out of trouble.

Outro Edit

Out of character

The Hidden Almanac is a production of Dark Canvas Media, and is produced by Kevin Sonney. The voice of Reverend Mord is Keven Sonney. And the voice of Pastor Drom is Ursula Vernon. Our intro music is Moon Valley and our exit music is Red in Black, both by Kosta T. You can find more by Kosta T at the Free Music Archive. All other content is copyright 2013 through 2016, Ursula Vernon.

Community content is available under CC-BY-SA unless otherwise noted.