The Hidden Almanac for
Wednesday March 18th, 2015
Episode 237
Previous episode: 2015-03-16
Next episode: 2015-03-20


Today we celebrate the crowning of the very first Miss Qualm. We also remember the start of the reign of Pope Samantha. It is the Feast Day of the Green Serpent, and in the garden, it is now Spring.

B e Safe, and Stay Out of Trouble.


Welcome to the Hidden Almanac, I’m Reverend Mord.

Today is March 18th, 2015.

It was on this day in 1944 that the small island nation of Qualm hosted its first Miss Qualm pageant, which was won by a cheese. The cheese’s poor performance in the swimsuit competition was apparently made up for by its astonishing juggling talent and insightful answers into why children were the future. The cheese was duly crowned and sent across Qualm, where it fulfilled its duties admirably. Towards the end of its tenure, it retired, feeling a bit runny, and the runner up, Miss Volcano Beach West, took its place for the remainder of the term. The cheese was buried with full honors and the Miss Qualm 1944 Scholarship Fund was established to give disadvantaged dairy products a leg-up on life.

And it was on this day in 1094 that Pope Samantha briefly attained the papacy, following in the metaphorical footsteps of the Lioness Pope. She ruled for only five years before choking to death on a fishbone. Her reign is otherwise unremarkable, being largely concerned with sorting out tariff disputes that are no longer of much interest to anyone.

It is the Feast Day of the Green Serpent, who deserves it after yesterday’s decidedly anti-snake shenanigans.

In the garden, it’s spring at long last. The weather is glorious. The trillium have come up, all at once, from under the leaves. So has the Eastern Waterleaf and the woodland poppies. The irises have come up like swords. There are buds on the elderberry and the hydrangea. And the trout lily has actually bloomed, despite being hemmed in by yellowroot, a tiny, fragile, magnificent flower that lifts the gardener’s heart. Assuming the gardener has a heart and not a small ticking piece of clockwork that they wind up occasionally, in which case, it presumably lifts the gardener’s clockwork.

The Hidden Almanac is brought to you by Red Wombat Tea Company, purveyors of fine and inaccessible teas. Red Wombat --- “We Dig Tea.”

Also brought to you by the Quiz-Whiz Quiz Show! Now in its 24th season, Quiz Whiz tests your knowledge of obscure facts. Do you know the scientific name of the sand herring? Do you want to? Quiz-Whiz!

That’s the Hidden Almanac for March 18th, 2015. Be safe, and stay out of trouble.


Out of Character

The Hidden Almanac is a production of Dark Canvas Media, written by Ursula Vernon and performed and produced by Kevin Sonney. Our theme music is Moon Valley and our exit music is Red in Black, both by Kosta T. You can hear more from Kosta T at the Free Music Archive. All other content is copyright 2013 through 2015, Ursula Vernon.


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