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The Hidden Almanac for
Wednesday September 17th, 2014
Episode 159
HAalbumart-podcast
Previous episode: 2014-09-15
Next episode: 2014-09-19

SummaryEdit

Today the eggs in Echo Harbour hatched lotus blossoms. It is also the day a polite painter went mad. It is the Feast Day of the Eyeless Ones, and in the garden, there is daikon.

Be Safe, and Stay Out of Trouble.

TranscriptionEdit

Welcome to the Hidden Almanac, I’m Reverend Mord.

Today is September 17th, 2014.

Nothing has changed yet, but there are dropcloths everywhere. The receptionist has a hunted look. I come to work with great trepidation.

It was on this day in the Year of Burning Foam that every egg in Echo Harbor was revealed to contain lotus blossoms instead of yolks. The egg whites remained intact. Omelets became extremely problematic, though duck eggs remained unaffected. Several prominent citizens reported that the lotus flowers were bright yellow. New eggs imported from outlying farms were normal until midnight, whereupon they, too, contained lotus blossoms. Three florists and a professor of classics were ritually burned in an effort to appease the eggs, which eventually returned to normal.

And it was on this day in 1917 that a painter went mad. This would not normally be of any historical note, as painters are prone to this sort of thing, but this one was very polite, paying his rent in full and leaving a nice note for his landlady, before charging down the street whooping and gnawing on a tube of cadmium red. He was never seen again, but his landlady wished him well.

It is the Feast Day of the Eyeless Ones. Just…don’t go out tonight. Explanations would be entirely too involved, and it would be better if everyone had a quiet evening at home.

In the garden, I continue to have no opinion of chickens. It is requested that I discuss turkeys. Very well. Several heirloom breeds of turkey, including the Midget White and Royal Palm, are listed as endangered farm breeds. The Royal Palm is a handsome bird, often kept, like peacocks, as an ornamental fowl. I assume they probably lay eggs, and presumably you could do something with them, but we are rapidly exhausting my knowledge of turkeys.

Do not keep Peacocks if you can avoid it. The neighbors will become very tired of the shrieking, and it attracts the attention of strange and not entirely rational gods.

Meanwhile, the chickweed is beginning to return, a sure sign of both fall and inadequate weeding. In the Hidden Almanac test garden, we are experimenting with fall plantings of daikons, in hopes that these will not bolt the way the spring crop does.

The Hidden Almanac is brought to you by Red Wombat Tea Company, purveyors of fine and inaccessible teas. Red Wombat --- “We Dig Tea.”

Also brought to you by Mime Deprogramming Inc. Has someone you love been absorbed by the mime cult? Mime Deprogramming Inc can get them speaking again. MDI—Think Outside The Invisible Box

That’s the Hidden Almanac for September 17th, 2014. Be safe, and stay out of trouble.

OutroEdit

Out of Character

The Hidden Almanac is a production of Dark Canvas Media. It is written by Ursula Vernon. The voice of Reverend Mord is Kevin Sonney. Our intro music is "Clear Blue Sky" by Chatham County Line and our exit music is "Scotland the Brave" by Shake That Little Foot. You can find more music by both groups at the Free Music Archive. All other content is copyright 2013-2014, Ursula Vernon.

Notes Edit

Community content is available under CC-BY-SA unless otherwise noted.