The Hidden Almanac for
Wednesday January 8th, 2014
Episode 51
Previous episode: 2014-01-06
Next episode: 2014-01-10


Today we remember the ascension of The Shepherd Pope. We also remark on the works of Argo Fairweather, and the poet Worms-Moving-Sideways. It is the Feast Day of St. Ramena, and in the garden, bluebirds are evident. Be Safe, and Stay Out of Trouble.


Welcome to The Hidden Almanac, I’m Reverend Mord.

Today is January 8th, 2014.

It was on this day in 1481[1] that the Shepherd Pope ascended to the papacy following the untimely, and some said suspicious, death of his predecessor the Lobster Pope. His reign would be long and auspicious, and involve only a few heresy trials. His first act was to pardon the scientist Argo Fairweather, and release him from the house arrest under which he had been placed some years before.

And it was on this day that the scientist Argo Fairweather moved to the city of Troyzantium, saying that he required a change of scenery. The famed scientist and natural philosopher would go on to create a working model of the solar system out of Popsicle sticks and discover a crude form of penicillin.

Today is the birthday of the poet Worms-Moving-Sideways, of the Mole People. Worms-Moving-Sideways is famed for his poetry, which was translated into many human languages. He was the first non-human Poet Laureate of the City, and performed his great work "Five Clay Poems and One Mud Poem" at the inauguration ceremony of the queen. It included the famous stanza: "Rising. Rising. Falling. Turning. The crumbled earth of evening under our tongues. The walls of mud and velvet. Even the dark is buoyant. Even the worms have swords."

Today is the Feast Day of Saint Ramena, patron of small brightly colored fishes, except for neon tetras. Saint Ramena is generally portrayed as a school of bright fight, forming the shape of a human being. An icon of Saint Ramena stands on the cane coral reef of the Coriander Isles and is believed to be over three hundred years old.

In the garden, Bluebirds are house hunting. Bluebirds prefer houses on poles, or fence posts, with clear sight lines all around. They prefer a one and a half inch diameter hole in the box, with Mountain Bluebirds requiring holes somewhat larger. Beware of Gangrenous Buntings, which will often steal Bluebird nest boxes and render them uninhabitable by any self-respecting bird.

The Hidden Almanac is brought to you by Red Wombat Tea Company, purveyors of fine and inaccessible teas. Red Wombat — "We Dig Tea."

Also sponsored by Pony Cake Bandannas: for the best bandannas in all the world, think Pony Cake. Then rid your mind of the reasonable unpleasant images that just came into it, and what you're left with is great bandannas at reasonable prices.

That’s the Hidden Almanac for January 8th, 2014. Be Safe, and Stay Out of Trouble.


Out of Character

The Hidden Almanac is a production of Dark Canvas Media, written by Ursula Vernon and performed and produced by Kevin Sonney. Our theme music is Moon Valley and our exit music is Red in Black, both by Kosta T. You can hear more from Kosta T at the Free Music Archive. All other content is copyright 2013, Ursula Vernon.

Notes Edit

  1. Rev. Mord said 1841 on air, but that was most likely a transposition error in his notes. All other account of the Lobster and Shepherd Popes put this event in 1481.
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